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Fate SoundLocked up where it's said it's safe
I hear the sounds outside.
The cries of authority as they chase
down those that forgot to hide.
Reality settles in deep and it frightens
those less fortunate souls that cried
out to be heard, to seek help to enlighten
but the impatient world has died.
No longer does it breathe united,
its falling to its end
Where the final prayers have been recited
to the wounds that they can't mend.
Lost in chaos we will stand
behind the shadows of a forgotten land
where maybe love was possible...
without the doting reprimand.
Hearts have grown too hostile
and it is something we can't see
until we step back with open eyes,
remember how to breathe,
and relinquish tired lies.
For some time I stood with the ones
who knew love was the lie...
a made-up story, a fairytale,
that leaves the lonely tears to cry.
When love came it was in your hands,
and you held it out so openly...
so accepting, so prepared to understand.
My mind was changed for you, you see
not another soul
MuchI must admit,
I am so scared.
Through all of it,
I've been so prepared
to find one final reason to let everything slip
to realize why, officially,
it isn't worth it to equip
myself with battle armor
when the war's already spent
to see I'm stuck where things are harder,
where I'm bad and should repent
give my life to either side,
evil lust or loving guide...
the ones who have been dealt the worst
fall onto either end
becoming uncannily amazing, always the first
to love someone to mend.
Or they let it in and fall so hard
that they never felt the hit
only let themselves be forever scarred
an unavoidable prerequisite
to the desire for pain they now could feel
where before there was nothing else
And with their blood they sign a seal
that would forever keep them real.
Like I said, I waited
for the darker end to call
because the thought I always hated
was being left alone and small.
but there was an life-altering twist,
one I did not expect...
There was someone the dark had missed
when it lef
Tainted LoveTwo broken people
playing broken games
to teach their hearts some lesson...
to break the links of their past chains.
Two sodden tragedies that were never understood
Somehow cross paths blindly,
wishing for something true and good.
Talk, fumble, absentmindedly
Hoping against hope,
heart, fall already!
But with both hands on the rope
we will never slip, too steady
Only wishing we could sway...
But we fight another day.
Getting to you, fumbling
for words that we can't say
Trying hard to fix things that can never go away.
Someday for sure one of their hearts
will wake up proud and say
Separated you are mere parts,
but together you're this way:
Meshed and molded, with the other
One completes what Two should have
tell of how you found another...
A soul that had been halved.
But that day had not yet come
and the two clung desperately
wishing for the other
to reach right in and see
that since they have the other,
they don't need but much else.
But this could hardly be,
because their souls scre
Fill MeI don't want to wait anymore.
I'm filled with hate and it makes me sore.
Please say what I want to hear...
although if its lies I'm shedding tears.
Believe me when I say that I don't care at all
Numbness blankets me
so that I cannot fall
I don't know how to take it off, you see
This shield that bars emotions from me.
I lay in bed, I'm counting sheep
praying to no one for eventual sleep
Because these thoughts of you are wrong,
I shouldn't think of you
So very, very much, provoke you to string me along...
I don't know anything else to do
but to hope this end is extreme
on either end.
Can you hear the screams?
That I never send?
I believe that you...you are the one.
Before you roll your eyes and run...
Know that I've been with others before
that truly left me wanting more.
You aren't the first,
but you aren't the worst,
and I know you have a past...
but I want you to be the last.
The Last one I fall for.
The last one that I adore
There isn't a soul on this earth who suits me more.
I Am...I am an observer,
I watch as you fall
and I won't make a move
to answer your call.
I am dishonest,
it has been since my smallest years
that I let my truth into others ears.
I am a composer,
of a great many lies
yet carry luck like a clover
I never break my disguise.
Through those heat filled faces surrounding me
I can just barely see
and sometimes I find nowhere to run
they take over me.
I am rarely awake with sun,
so that when everything slips undone,
I will not be exposed
I will always stay composed.
I keep my secrets like stars keep distance
burning bright beneath my skin
defining my existence
out of reach and filled with sin.
Never trust a word I say,
I lie to everyone every day
and this is the only time
I will admit
that I am unlike you in many ways.
Who I am is just this: a secret to hold
and I will show no one
no matter how bold.
Gatsby's FallingDesire so potent for something unsaid
desperate to gain something,
but easily mislead.
Believing that wealth will let him rest easy
chasing after something with an aura so pleasing,
its sharp beauty carves into eager eyes
dances within them, and renders them blind.
All they see is the illusion
that green will be enough
but the heart, in its confusion,
leaps and beats for stuff-
glorious wealth so tied to success
that any fool would see it as best.
Willing to go to about any means
of achieving this corrupt desire-
Jimmy Gatz dies behind the scenes
consumed by his own fire.
The soul left in his place
chases a siren's song,
attempting to create a face
that his wealth can survive upon.
He gathers up destiny in two small hands
the game is in control-
So certain that he knows where he stands
unaware of the state of his soul.
For what he thought he had achieved
crept around his neck~
curled and twisted, yet he still believed
that his car would never wreck.
...and then stop -- silent
Please Be OkayWhen you're hurting,
I worry more than I can say.
When we're flirting,
I get too many butterflies that won't go away.
Our little conversations about anything at all
somehow tripped my heart up,
so now I'm learning how to fall.
I needed you, and you were there
Each one of us sought someone to care
And we laid our hearts along a line
as chills broke out upon our spines.
To any outsider who could judge
We haven't been made so we could budge
But I think it's meant to be that way
so that one or both hearts might just stay.
And pound, and ache, and feel within,
something both of us craved
Tingles that start but don't begin
and changed the way we behaved.
So say that you're okay...
Please tell me that you'll stay
Don't you dare fall under
for a twisted moment's blunder.
I know sometimes that life can hurt
In a way that isn't healed, it asserts
itself and pulls down your head
Please don't let your last moment be in that bed.
I can't let you go,
not yet! You don't know
How much you saved me the
IncredibleIts almost time to speak,
but my heart is beating fast
and my joints have all gone weak.
Whatever this feeling is, I just hope it lasts
I'm fully awake and out of the past
All I could do is thank you for that,
but I just don't have the words
to explain to you that from where I sat
It was only beauty that could be heard.
You say you're self aware,
am I making you that way?
I know you are already,
but you're out of words to say.
We stumble, fall into one another
and I realize that you're holding me steady
and we are balancing each other
Everything contains it all,
and when one trips we both fall.
Please realize something out of reach,
that's killing me inside
you are far more incredible than I can beseech
upon you with words that hide.
I'm sorry that I'm not enough,
could never possibly be
Not even with all your love
All I'll ever be is me.
Time is shredded far too quickly
and I try to hold my breath--!
You are becoming a bigger part of me
than life or even death
and I never thought you'
DaylightDreadfully drilled into my skin
there's a routine glare that burns within.
I couldn't tell you why it hurts,
never changing, never ceasing to exert
any amount of pressure that can bring my own demise,
it's bright, it's blinding, it burns into my eyes.
From where it comes, I couldn't say,
yet it never ceases to expose me
lying helpless, wounded, on my back,
hackles up, I can't relax,
how I am expected to keep my seams all pulled together,
it escapes me, truly, how to survive this kind of weather.
I'm not sure why I crave so much
this human need for pleasured touch
yet when someone comes, I shy away,
my mouth is drained of words to say.
This pain that is the light that guides
brings travelers home and tides to rise
yet why with only me,
does it never cease to see
the flaws etched deep into my flesh
the hotly wired mesh
that binds me to the words I speak
about days so young and force so weak...
Surely it doesn't mean to harm me?
Surely it means well?
But it blinds me so I cannot see
Relapse: A Life With Anorexia "Rush her to the ER!"
The doctors screamed at the nurses as they struggled with attaching the convulsing girl to the stretcher and rolling her through the well-lit hallways of the hospital. The white tile raced beneath the wheels and the grey paneling on the walls flew by as the ER crew sped down the path, desperate to get the girl into the emergency room. There was a nurse constantly screaming out her stats as they fell lower with each passing second.
The team rolled into the room and placed a cup over her mouth.
"She's in cardiac arrest, doctor, we have to move fast!"
The nurse kept screaming, her shrill voice ringing through the room and above all the murmuring of the other staff members.
A breathing mask was placed over the girl's mouth to keep the oxygen going into her lungs. The girl was unconscious,
Dear Self I Hate You More ThanDear Self,
I realize today that I hate you more today than I did yesterday.
I learned today the extent of how much you can't do anything right and how incompetent you are.
I feel you should know I hope you die.
It's taking all the restraint in the world not to drown you in the bath tub.
Just the fact that I know you're happy even for a second makes me sick.
I also know that the happiness you're feeling is my fault. I'll fix that.
Get a grip.
No one cares.
Are you seriously disappointed? What did you expect? Have you ever MET me?
Please... just leave me alone,
I can't take this anymore.
You've turned into something I hate.
I've turned into you and you've turned into me.
It's uncalled for and disgusting.
What do you want from me?
I think I hate you... as much as I hate me.
And that's a lot.
AnorexiaI hate you
For what you did to me
But even more
I hate you
For what you did to her
Why can't you see
How beautiful she was
How beautiful she could be
How do you sleep at night
Knowing well those you've taken
Stolen from those that love them most
Driving us all insane
Forced into slow suicide
Does it even slightly faze you
That you are
The dark side of Glamour
The unbearable unbearable pain inside
Making it visable through scars
Hidden underneith baggy clothes
They'll never know of our relationship
Hold me in your arms
And sing me to my final sleep
Self HateSelf Hate
They tell me I cant be perfect,
That useless Ill always be;
They say Im so worthless,
That failures the only thing Ill see.
Looking in the mirror,
Ill list all my flaws;
I will stay secluded,
In these four walls.
Since its what I deserve,
Ill endure the pain;
Im no longer sane.
Its horrible to know,
There is no end to this I can see;
Its even worse to say,
The one telling me this
Dont ForgetColors so bright in the dead of night.
Morphing and writhing in and out of sight.
Darkness so deep it infects your soul.
Being in his favor always takes its toll.
Color or darkness, you'll always be blind.
Please, don't forget it's
in your mind.
You made a deal with the DEVIL there's no going back.
The voices in your head will never slack.
Twisting and turning at night in your bed.
Don't forget, I beseech you, it's
in your head.
Thin.O God! To be thn! To run to class with your friends and still have breath to laugh! To enjoy gym class! To be asked to join a group in gym, and not have to seek out the unlucky partner. To exchange the encouraging, pityng, pasted-on smiles for cheers of congratulation. To be whistled at in the street! To buy a bikini and wear it with pride! To fit into the beautiful dresses at the store. To think of love, of sex, of a family without despair!
Some complain of being stick-like, without breasts or hips. They have no idea. They take for granted the joy of having full control of your body, being able to run a mile without stopping, of feeling your powerful muscles working with each stride. the have never known the pain of a causal insult to their body. They do not say "I'll fight you for it" and hear in return "Be careful...she might sit on you."
Family PortraitFamily Portrait.
He comes home late, surly and disorderly.
Tears streaking from his eyes because he's so morbidly
Depressed and continues to drink unlawfully.
He notices I'm awake and sits me down forcefully.
He tells me to come close as he whispers to me reassuringly.
Then he thrusts me around the room, beating me unremorsefully.
He said its my fault that mum decided to leave.
He pulls me closer as he venomously adjusts his sleeves.
He said he regrets the day I was ever conceived.
He lifts me up towards the ceiling with supreme ease.
Grasping at my throat making it difficult for me to breathe.
He intensifies his grip whilst gritting his jaundiced coloured teeth.
He loosens his hold and my body slumps to the floor.
I inhale distressingly, not knowing how much more I will have to endure.
He holds his head in his hands and stumbles towards the door.
I crawl to the side cabinet to gaze at our family picture that once he tore.
Thinking to myself could it really be true.
Am I th
An Atheist Answerdeep below the sores,
of most battles and wars,
deep inside the cries,
of political lies,
the dark, broken truths,
supposedly above our roofs,
it kills us,
it knows us,
wonder whether heaven and hell,
are actually the wrong way round,
at least you're surrounded,
up there so holy,
you sit so lonely,
most of you're friends,
meet dark ends,
yes it may help you,
but what if it's miss-heard,
a disaster so absurd,
the first, second,
and maybe the third,
wars of the world,
based on a Holy word,
the world's great disasters,
what type of masters,
would sit back and cast a',
eye down on us,
while terrorists bomb us,
i can't stand it,
never a fan of it,
i'm not a man of it,
i'll keep my hands firmly afar,
when somebody tells me to answer to a glorified star.
CutShe carefully removed the darkly stained towel from her desk drawer. Unfolding the towel she lifted up a blade testing its sharpness by sliding her finger along its metal edge. She outstretched her arm onto the towel staring at the scars already taking place. Glancing over her shoulder at the locked door, she slowly slid the blade into her wrist. The flesh ripped cleanly away the blood spilling out over her arm and towel. Taking in a deep breath she wiped away the blood and replaced the towel and blade in its hiding place. Thinking No one will ever understand.
I Promise.The world has found another way
to prove to you that beauty fades,
and although you survived another day...
You almost wish you hadn't stayed.
It isn't necessarily
pain that is the problem
a lack thereof in reality
this black and white is troublesome.
But give me your hand,
when you're feeling weak
I'll pull you through whatever
I'll stay for you, forever.
When the joy of living dies
and the words they tell are lies
Bring your troubles to me, okay?
I'll kiss the pain away...
somehow I know that we wound up here,
together, for a reason
so physically distant, yet metaphorically near
Let's outlast the season.
Humans are human
and so are we
I rely on you, rely on me?
I promise to stay by you,
I promise not to leave
To you I will stay true
and I will never deceive.
Huge things to say indeed,
but it's only you I need...
and if you tell me when you need me,
even though I should already know...
I'll be there in an instant, see?
I couldn't ever tell you no.
Although the sky may be
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More